Going on

Dear Didem!

For days I‘m trying to prepare a really calm time-slot to write to you again, but it‘s impossible all in all and I‘ve decided to write nonetheless now.

The day your letter reached me was exactly the point, when Dieter left the track for the first time to play some concerts. So I walked with you very often from then onwards. The term „exhausted“ with which you described your current state appeared again and again - it followed me into the hilly woods before Budapest, accompanied me through the streets of the town‘s periphery, was with me alongside the dozens of kilometres of field-paths bringing me to the deepest Hungary. And I was exhausted every now and then myself.

I began to ask myself what this state wants to tell us. How it can be changed or transformed. If it should be changed... The German word is „erschöpft“. It has to do with the verb „schöpfen“, which means pouring water or other fluid from one vessel to the other. This is one meaning. The other is used for the creating process of the world by god. And only by him/her - the word is his/her privilege actually. Sometimes the term is also used as the adjective „schöpferisch“ for creative processes in artistic contexts, but there‘s always a tendency to kitsch and exaggeration using it.

What‘s the turkish word?

And: is it that something that should have been nurtured was neglected and dried out, when we are exhausted? What?

Or is it that we missed the moment to make a pause, to breathe?

I‘m not sure anymore, but I think I‘ve shown you the Japanese Kanji, the sign, for “to go“. It consists of two parts, the upper one meaning „to stop“, the one underneath „a little bit“. A miracle of a word that reveals its secret openheartedly.

I’ve collected some quite sustainable sources to feed the flow, in order that it can keep being nourishing, but it’s still so hard for me to find the points when I really have to stop.

What are the turkish words for past, present and future?

The German „Vergangenheit“ contains „gehen“, to go. That comes to my mind very often currently... The past and its thousands upon thousands steps, they belong to us and they make our body, our mind, our soul (or whatever) ours, every fibre embodies those steps. So we can concentrate on the present and take care, if we need to breathe, I would say.

For a long time, I‘ve prepared to write today and on this 5th March of all days I‘ve seen my first butterfly of the year and the journey: a lemon moth.

And a few hours later I came across the one on the picture. So I take them - natural messengers of change, transformation and metamorphosis - as our heraldic animal.

Tomorrow will be 35km because finding accommodation in the area is extremely complicated. So I‘ll go to bed now and take a deep breath...

With a big hug to the city of „Gegensätze“!

Deeply yours,

C